I Dont Like This

I'll get right to the point. I've had some serious mental and spiritual battles going on with me. It has even manifested itself in my physical health. However I continue to be steadfast in my purpose no matter what.

Recently I found myself angry about a situation I have been watching develop for more than a year. To speak honestly I wasn't just angry I was enraged. It took hours for me to settle myself. I felt so defeated. Not because of the situation but because of my lack of balance to maintain my own peace. You see there is a reason I meditate and walk a path of enlightenment. I know enough about myself to recognize a major weakness. Unlike some people who are so calm it takes a series of events to take place before they go off I am the exact opposite. My anger is volatile. It registers on a constant wave length and must be contained in every existing moment. The instant I allow my meditative focus to be interrupted I become destructive to everything including myself. My anger is that of spiritual warfare waged long before your ancestors were even a thought. I write to purge. I meditate to maintain a balance. I pray to cleanse. Why am I sharing this? Because feeling that again after doing so much spiritual work was warning. Im not purging enough. Im not meditating enough. Im not praying enough. If that monster has peeped his head out. It was only to show me what I am not doing. This is gonna be rough but my readers and listeners will enjoy it. It is time to purge for my anger is great.

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